I Was Asked to Write a Biography. I Bought a Dress Instead.

Here’s what happened. Nathalie asked me to introduce myself. I opened a blank document, stared at it for four minutes, and then closed my laptop and went shopping, which I’d like to point out was a completely reasonable response to being asked to summarize myself in under 500 words.

I did not find a biography. I found a dress. Objectively the better outcome.

So here’s the short version instead, unearned confidence and all: I’m Ariadne De Lencastre. I almost became a fashion designer. Then life had other plans, so now I write comedic women’s fiction instead, which is really just fashion design with more talking and fewer scissors. I have strong opinions about tailoring and zero opinions about consequences, which is a personality trait, not a warning label, though I understand it functions as both.

I’ve talked three friends out of engagements. None of them mine. I consider this a public service. They consider it “meddling.” We simply disagree on vocabulary.

This is Everyday Chaos & Couture, my corner of Whitmore & Wine. Nathalie does the personal essays and the fiction that makes you think. I do the fiction that makes you send it to your group chat with “this is literally you” attached.

A preview of what’s coming, because I don’t believe in surprises unless I’m the one causing them:

A woman finds out her best friend bought the same wedding guest dress. Nobody survives emotionally.

A dinner party gets ruined by someone’s ex, someone’s ego, and one unreasonably good coat.

A situation involving a rental property, a designer bag, and a decision that was clearly made under the influence of Aperol.

None of it is true. All of it is extremely plausible. That’s the job.

I’m still finding where the light switches are around here, so bear with me while I get settled. Consider this my introduction, and your fair warning.